WTF Albertson's?

There's a display set up just inside the doors at Albertson's. There's a folding table with arrangements of roses, which makes sense. It's the cans of refried beans in a pyramid that I don't get. Nothing says "I love you" like roses and refried beans.

I have discovered that Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream is not the best Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. I tried Breyer's and liked it better. I also tried Haagen Daz Extra Rich Light Mint Chocolate Chip, but even though it tasted ok, it had a weird texture, like it had melted and refrozen. I need to try it again to see if it was a fluke. But none of this is stopping me from eating the Blue Bell.

There has recently been an explosion of dark chocolate versions of your standard candy favorites. I lurve me some dark chocolate so I was delirious at the thought of a dark chocolate Snickers. Then I ate one. Eh. Not that big a deal, but the dark chocolate peanut M&M's are freakin' awesome, for your basic candy aisle dark chocolate. I prefer fancy dark chocolate, i.e., Godiva. In case you want to send me some.

Smokey Robinson rocks, btw. Tracks of my Tears. Awesome. That is going on my Songs for the Hungover soundtrack. Which will also feature Joey, Sunday Morning Coming Down, Blue Bayou, Tequila Sunrise, Don't Pass Me By, Do You Know The Way To San Jose? and many more!

I do not want to get on a bus with Kenny Wayne Shepherd. PBS pledge time has arrived again, and I have had enough of the blues. Last year it was folk music. That blues documentary was cool the first time I saw it and saw that guy Pinetop, who I actually saw in person in Austin at Antone's one time with Andy. That's a lot of A's. Anyway.

I have also seen all those other Austin guys who used to be in Double Trouble. I saw them play with BB King once in Bryan. I got in for free. My friend was dating this loser dude who kept talking about how he knew those guys and then they totally snubbed him. Funny. I told you he was a loser. I'm kind of glad my friend stole him right from (literally) under me. He was bad news in every way.

I've picked some winners, but I've never had one who was bat-shit crazy like that guy. I had the college boyfriend who was a sloppy drunk so I broke up with him on New Year's Eve after he got loaded in front of all my friends and embarrassed me. We were fighting in the bathroom and he raised his hand like he was going to hit me, but he didn't do it. I kind of wanted him to so I could kill him for it, then tell my Dad and my brothers so he could get killed again. He cried in my front yard. What a pussy.

I drank sangria with his friends one night after that and they told me what a mess he was and why he started dating me in the first place, and how he ended up falling in love me even though he only wanted to get some action and dump me. They weren't great friends, I guess, since they spilled the beans so easily. Anyway, he was a loser.

Let's make a list.

ReadBecca's List of Loser Exes

David from high school
David from Dallas
Evil Edward
Steven what's his name who was slightly less unmarried than he lead me to believe
Eric the sloppy drunk (it took me 10 minutes to remember his name)
Chris McCoy whose name I couldn't remember when we were dating so my friends called him Bob, but now I can't forget it
Internet boyfriend in Massachusetts who I think was named Mike and who I actually met f2f because I flew out there to meet him
Colin Farrell
Luis even though he was never technically my boyfriend, but it didn't stop us from making out, because he broke my heart
Ross, also never technically my boyfriend, unless it was after 1 am on a Saturday night
Larry
The other Larry who wouldn't sleep with me but who said I had the softest skin known to man and the world's most perfect bottom lip
The Marine with the "points of contact in Austin" Christmas card; dang, his name was David too, what's up with all the David's?

I'm bored with that list. I could make a list of things that bore me. I think I need to reinstate the I Hate You feature. That was always a hit. I'll try to work up some rage for you folks.