I Miss You, Laying Down In Bed To Sleep.

After a lovely joyful years-long asthma-free period, I can't breathe. You smoke one lousy stinkin' cigarette for no apparent reason on a Friday night, and then you're cursed with nearly two weeks of shortness of breath and coughing so hard you seriously think you're going to crack a rib or something, if your throat doesn't close up and kill you first.

I haven't slept in my delicious bed in over a week. How can I use "delicious" to describe my bed? Because when I'm in it, it feels so good I can taste it, that's how. Anyway, I can't lay down because my lungs seize up when I'm horizontal. I've been sleeping sitting up on the sofa. It's not all that much fun. It's not all that comfortable either. I've woken up in some weird configurations lately, and not in a good way. Which reminds me, since I had to cancel last Monday, next Monday should count double, doncha think? Hot damn!

I tried to listen to my lungs with my handy dandy stethoscope, but I don't know what I'm listening for. The only conclusion I've been able to come to is, yes, I am definitely breathing. The advantage of having a tiny bathroom is it's easy to turn it into a steam room. I enjoy the steam. I like to pretend I'm at the country club. Except there's no cabana boy. I gotta get me one of those. (What a perfect Christmas gift you could give ReadBecca!)

Other than that, I got nuthin'. I've been holed up at home. After I finished the annual ReadBecca Thanksgiving Film Festival (this year's theme: DVDs I've picked up and put back down at least three times at Premiere Video - Away From Her, No End In Sight, In The Land Of Women, Copying Beethoven and Amazing Grace) I don't know what I've been doing. Seriously, I can't think of anything. I haven't been anywhere or done anything. Jesus, how can I not know what I've done for the last week? I haven't even been drinking. I must have watched a lot of PBS. Wait! Yesterday I watched the Teletubbies! Thank God, I haven't completely lost my mind. At least I remembered something.

Ok, let's wrap it up. I'm not sure about this Pushing Daisies show. I feel like I should love it but I don't. I find it twee and annoying. I also admit I've been skipping How I Met Your Mother to watch Dancing With The Stars. Don't worry, I'm sufficiently ashamed of myself, you don't have to trouble yourself to admonish me. I even missed Slapsgiving. How dare me!