Ok, let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Last Friday we hit The Capitol Pub and gave it 3.5 ReadBecca Beers. It's a bit large, which will make it hard to talk to strangers, as opposed to the forced intimacy of the much smaller The Dubliner, which we went to after The Cap. We shut the joint down and talked to many, many strangers, including a 24 yr. old with more mouth than experience with old broads, I'm betting.
Then there was Married Randy from Oregon who was totally turned on when I equated Canada with R.O.U.Ses, I don't think either one of them exists. And when he used his big come on, "You smell so good, what is that?" And I said, "Soap." I thought he was going to die at the thought that I just walk around smelling like that naturally. (SoftSoap body wash, Milk & Honey flavor, pick some up at Target today!) I've seen about 67,392,503 girls swoop in to "save" their friend from an undesirable, but I've never seen a guy do it. MRFO's friends swooped in to save him from me, obviously the town Jezebel. I thought it was funny. Didn't they see me avoiding Randy's attempts to kiss me? Guess not. This is my official notice to the state of Oregon: I don't fool around with married men. Very bad juju comes from such things.
The alleged Canadians were funny. One of them was supposed to have been a hockey player. I wouldn't know, but he kept signing things (my empty beer, a coaster) so I kept one (the coaster) just in case it wasn't total bullshit, which I'm sure it is, but still, you never know.
Our first stranger of the evening was Chris, who had to stand around waiting for service, when my beer was already waiting for me before I even sat down. ReadBecca: You better recognize, and Chris did, with an obvious, "You must be regulars." That we are, son, that we are.
Also, we saw people we hadn't seen since last St. Patrick's day and that time we made out. It was weird how everyone we talked about suddenly showed up. I should have said, "Hey Stef, you know who we haven't seen in forever? George Clooney." He would have magically appeared.
I suspect one of the people we hadn't seen since last SPD was trying to make me jealous. Ha. He always wanted me more than I wanted him. I love it when that happens, which is, like, never. He gave me more notice than was required after the initial "Hey" combined with the chin lift, touching the small of my back as he passed by, when he could have kept walking without any need to get close enough to touch me and I wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't. Making sure I knew he was there. Ha.
Yeah, I'm gloating! So what? It was a good night, on all fronts. My jokes were funny and I looked hot. The planets were all aligned. It's nice when someone says you're pretty, even if they're drunk and from Oregon and married to boot. And then Guy Who I Made Out With Once was all, "Where are you girls going now? I've got wine and a fireplace." and we were all, "Home, dude." which is code for "Once was enough. We're through."
Turning him down was easy. Mondays are much better. I like having Monday in my back pocket at the moment. It'll do.
Aside from working it, I've been doing Algebra like a mad woman. The final is next week. I can get as low as a 64 on it and still pass the class. With an A. ReadBecca got mad Algebra skills. Who knew?
Hey guess what. My house is still clean. I KNOW. It IS crazy. But still don't look in the closet.
No comments:
Post a Comment