It was a two-parter. I know the second part was "We're bringing the shit to town." I think the first part rhymed. Anyhow.
Chad the bartender at The Libertine looks as much like Colin Farrell as anybody I've seen in person so I'd totally bang him, but nah, I won't.
We told so many stories tonight, I've lost my voice. Awesome. I had a roast beef sandwich and a debate with Ashley about what a bad idea it is to shack up with someone. She thinks it's a good idea to have a "trial period" and I say that's what fucking dating is for. Unless I got a rock and a date set, I'm not fucking cohabitating. Shut up. I know I'm saying fuck a lot. It's very late and all I have to keep me warm is a Big Gulp.
Woo! Blogging in bed is so much more than I thought it would be. I get to blog braless! Anything I can do braless is at least 20% more fun than stuff that requires foundation garments. I stand by that statement.
I hate Conway Twitty. I thought that should be made clear. I probably should have mentioned it earlier. I know this next bit may cause me to be escorted to the Mason-Dixon line, but I don't like George Jones either. I do, however, enjoy the boys of Oak Ridge, so that might save my ass. To this day, I still can't believe I actually went to A&M. How was I never stoned to death in the village square? It's a friggin' mystery.
Any joke with Christopher Walken as the punch line is 20% funnier than any competing joke. I also stand by that statement.
Note to dude pretending not to be looking at condoms at 7-11: I totally know you're buying condoms. Stop pretending to look at cough drops. You could be actually using said condoms by now.
I have GOT to stop playing Mah Jong online. I am out of control and need an intervention. Someone book Oprah and make plans to ambush me on national television. It's the only way I'll take the situation seriously.
Someday when I'm stable enough to commit to a house, I'm going to have a big brass gong instead of a doorbell. It's going to ROCK.
And...SCENE.
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