Friday, June 09, 2006

Hey, What Are You Doing?

I'm not doing anything even remotely related to copy editing, I can tell you that much. I'm helping the programmer guy build the new website here at the freelancing gig.

Yes, your fear is the correct reaction. Mine is anger, but what's new?

How is it that I am constantly doing things I have no idea how to do? I mean, I figured out that I like foreign countries because my constant feeling of being somewhere I don't belong is normal there, because I don't belong. But here on the home turf, why in the hell would I want to reinforce that feeling? How am I always in a place that isn't where I originally thought I was going? And why don't I ever see it coming?

Someone once told me I was like algebra, that he could predict exactly what I was going to do in any situation and he didn't need to know why, he just knew the answer. Maybe I'm continually blindsided by people and situations because I suck at math.

Maybe it's like standing in shallow water at the beach. You're just standing there, looking out at the Gulf of Mexico, counting the seventh wave or whatever, and you look up after God knows how long, and, even though you haven't taken a step, you are half a mile down the coastline and you can't see your mom's gold Ford Elite anymore.

That happens to me all the freakin' time.

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