OH HELL TO THE YEAH!

I can't express how happy I am at this moment. This is huge. Only naked Orlando Bloom holding my winning lottery ticket in his teeth could make me happier.

Guess, go on guess, where I am and what I am doing. Yes, I am having beers and doing algebra homework, which I now declare to be ALEgebra, at my favorite place ever. It's like Disneyland for alcoholics. I am sitting at the bar at my bar.

Sweet mother of all that is holy, The Dubliner has wifi.

I may never leave.

I am keeping an eye on my battery level. My next task is to scope out all the outlets. I don't care that the damn Cowboys game is blaring on the speakers instead of such awesome tunes as "Lust For Life." I have an amazing ability to ignore things. It all sounds like white noise in the end. If I start being able to hear individual voices, I'm fucked, but right now, the only voice that's coming in clearly is Tara's. She's the bartender. We love her. You should too. Give her big tips. Immediately.

I am so stunned with the news that I can blog and do homework from my absolute favorite place in the world beside my own bed that I can hardly think what to say. This will totally get me laid.

This is so much cooler than sitting next to that guy at Starbuck's who is writing his book longhand and wears tweed even in the summer. He seems like he has an idea in his head of what a serious, eccentric writer should look like. I say deliberate eccentricity is called a costume. Me, I prefer occasionally wearing my pajamas in public and covering it up with a big shawl from India. No one can tell I'm wearing my jammies. Not right now. I look relatively normal for a Sunday. For any day.

Remind me to put my calculator away. Watch this. I'm going to spell BOOBLESS on it and show Stef. She would have laughed harder if she wasn't reading this over my shoulder. I am so going to die in this bar. I have a beer on my left, a glass of champagne on my right, and my laptop in the middle. Dang, I'm going to be famous. I wonder what Oprah will be like.

Let's see. What is the flaw in this plan? NO flaws. No cons. Everybody wins. This guy is pissed at the Cowboys. He said, "For fuck's sake!" I love that statement. I have no interest in football whatsoever. At least I will over hear interesting things.

TOUCHDOWN!

I had to look up when everyone was cheering. Losing battery power...must publish...and...shut down...stay tuned...for more....posts...from...the...Dublinerrrrrrrrrrrr...