I Talk In My Sleep.

In case there's anyone reading who hasn't slept with me, I talk in my sleep.

Often, I curse in my sleep. I wake myself up with a good SONOFABITCH and GODDAMMIT more frequently than I suspect other people do. I also wave my arms around while talking in my sleep, waking myself up when I flail into the wall. I tend to talk in complete sentences as well and I'm usually yelling at someone who's annoyed me in my dream.

GODDAMMIT, BOHNEN! I'M IN THE SHOWER! is something I yelled during a work dream. Bohnen wanted me to edit something when I was bathing. She even brought me a pen like she was being helpful. I woke up hollering, pissed and simultaneously laughing because it was so ridiculous.

My dreams are pretty obvious and easy to analyze. I used to have this recurring nightmare that the government was looking for me because I knew about a secret plot to nuke the world. I was hiding in a deserted town, only the town wasn't real. It was only facades of buildings, like on a movie studio back lot set. I could hear the helicopters and see the searchlights and some Man in Black had a bullhorn and was telling me they had my family. If I would come out, they'd let my family go. But if I didn't, the feds would kill my family. I knew I could get away. So I would have to choose between exposing the plan to kill a billion people or saving my family.

Then I'd wake up.

I never dreamed the end and never actually made the dream choice, but that's not the point. The point was the anxiety of having to make the choice, not what I decided in the end.

See? Obvious dream analysis.

I kept waking myself up all night Monday, cursing and arms banging around. I remember thinking I needed to get my digital camera and take a picture of my dream.

I would have had to get an 8x10 of that action.