i unhate you, teletubbies

Once upon a time, long ago, I was adamant about not letting parenthood ruin my judgment. Clearly, parenthood had ruined the once flourishing career of Eddie Murphy. One day he was a fabulous comedian, the next, he was a hack willing to do anything that would get a laugh out of a 5 year old. And speaking of hacks, I swore on my soul that I would never foist onto my children that insult to humanity, that horrific agitator, Barney the dinosaur.

And one day (still long ago), wanting to see what all the fuss was about, I tuned in to view the Teletubbies. I was freaked out by goos and gaas of the wide eyed aliens with tv's in their bellies. Even more so by the mind bending repetitiveness, and the giggling sunshine baby. Watching that show reminded me why I don't use psychedelic drugs any more, it was like a bad trip.

And for years, the Teletubbies remained of my "dont's" list. Then one day... i had a kid.

No wait, scratch that. Let me try again. Then one day... i had a kid that wouldn't stop crying and screaming and fussing for no given reason, while i was trying to feed it or clean it or change it, and it felt like the world had closed in on me and my life would be over soon because i hadn't gotten any sleep for 30 days since that dang kid was born.

And behold, someone had tivo'd and episode of the Teletubbies. And lo, the powers it beheld, soothing the savage beast. Suddenly, I loved the Teletubbies, not for their rhythmic dances or sprightly love for one another, but for the act of mercy they performed for me, the parent. Yes, it's a little sad to be using the television as a substitute for, well for whatever they did before television. But the truth is, I always said we shouldn't blame the television, it's done nothing wrong; it's the shows on television that wreak all the havoc. And if one can find a show that gently, kindly, and considerately introduces kids to this great big world of ours, and does so without annoying other adults in the room, then I'm all for it. Plus, Po speaks chinese.

So here's to the Teletubbies, may they continue to be beacon of tranquility. Incidentally, as far as I'm concerned, Barney can still keep it where the sun don't shine; he's not coming in my house.