Ah, Mental Health.

Hey, kids. Took a couple days off work to get my head checked, as the youngsters say. I feel better. There won't be a repeat of the mouthy email that got me busted on Friday. Oops. Got cocky and thought I could get away with it. Very ill-advised move. Let's not repeat it.

Anyway, to get out of the funk I'm in, I went to the ole standby. Books. I bought three of them I'm finding pretty dang useful. One is called "I Don't Know What I Want, But I Know It's Not This." I had to check the inside to make sure it wasn't dedicated to me. Of the six categories of needing a career change, I have three. I go balls out on everything.

Then there's "The Artist's Way" which is the book the class I wanted to take at SMU is based on, only they canceled the class for lack of interest. I've committed myself to twelve weeks of creative liberation. Today was day one. I'm sleepy.

And then, here's the shocker, I bought a book about the top 100 jobs in health care. I think I'm going to nursing school. NO ONE PANIC.

I think I want to be a labor and delivery nurse. Here's my reasons:

I need a job that is important and contributes to the good of the world. That is not advertising.

I need a job that will also allow me time to follow my millions of other interests, no matter how temporary they are. For instance: Six weeks of throwing pots and then getting my pilot's license. Nursing is considered full time when you work four days a week.

Labor and delivery to me isn't all about the baby. It's about getting the woman through an awesome experience so she doesn't look back and think of it as the worst thing that ever happened to her. You guys know I'm a feminist, right? Ok, just making that clear. I've been fascinated by pregnancy and all the jazz that goes with it ever since I had to read "Our Bodies, Ourselves" for a class in college. I want to get pregnant someday, but somebody else is going to have to take the kid. I've told all my girlfriends I'd surrogate for them if they ever need it.

Also, for the most part, labor and delivery nurses deal with healthy people. Once the baby is delivered and the mom has a couple days to recover, they're back at home. I like the idea of it being over. I don't want to have long, painful declines. Like in a nursing home. That would be too hard emotionally. I'm not looking to get too involved. Of course, I know that it will sometimes happen in special cases, but I like the idea of saying "Here's your kid. Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Next!"

I'm not cut out for corporate life. I don't fit the culture and I'm tired of being frustrated all the time that things aren't the way I think they should be. It's making me miserable and affecting my whole life. I need to set some boundaries. You! This is my dance space! That's your dance space! I don't go into yours; you don't go into mine.

So, nursing school. I think.