Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Why Do I Not Have Servants?

These are the servants I'd like to have:

Butler, for doing manly chores like polishing my shoes, stuff with the car and announcing visitors; sets a high tone
Lady's Maid, for taking care of my clothes and hair; trusted with all my secrets
Chamber Maid, for keeping my bedroom in order in case I ever want to entertain anyone there
Cook, for cooking, mostly breakfast so I don't have to get up early or eat cereal bars
Scullery Maid, for cleaning and scrubbing stuff you scrub
Grounds Keeper, because I kill plants
Goatherd, in case I get a dog
Housekeeper, for keeping all the other servants in line; organizing the lot so it all runs like clockwork so I don't have to think
Stable Boy, for when I feel like slumming or need a patsy
Sherpa, to hold my purse

I've seen it on PBS. People had servants. It was a big deal. I say we bring them back. Huzzah for servants!

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