Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Matt Matt the Miller Man

I just had a surprise lunch with one of my oldest and dearest friends, known far and wide as Matt Matt the Miller Man. We've known each other since seventh grade. I went to his Bar Mitzvah and he went to my college graduation.

He knows how I take my coffee. He opens the car door for me. He gave me a key to his place. He buys me beers and tuaca shots. When I say I won't drink any more tuaca shots, he makes fun of me until I do. He asked me my opinion about the new tile he's putting in his house. He kisses me hello when he sees me. His parents like me.

But I don't want to sleep with him. All these years, and not once have I ever thought about dating him. But I love him all the same. I want him to be my man of honor if I ever get married. And if I get left at the alter, I'm so taking him with me on what was supposed to be the honeymoon. I'm sure he'll look fab in a taffeta hoop skirt.

I love you to bits, Matthew Nance Adler! Can I come over and do laundry on Friday?

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