Friday, September 09, 2005

I Broke Up with Jamie Oliver Last Night

Y'all know how much I love hot chefs, right? And remember how obsessed with Jamie Oliver I was? I had to break up with him.

I saw him on Letterman last night. I stayed up late just to see him. To my surprise, I was all "feh" when he came out. He's looking a little puffy and he's letting his hair get too long. And I think his wife is knocked up again. You just know they're going to come up with another wacky name for this one. Welcome to the world, Thor Carburetor!

So we're through.

Don't think I've gone nuts and thrown out my autographed copy of Happy Days. It's not like we're not still friends. I'll probably be godmother to his next restaurant. MMMM...cheese sticks.

PS. I broke up with Colin Farrell a while back. I'm sure you know how much I loved him in spite of his recreational heroin use and penchant for hookers. I just couldn't be a doormat forever and raise his child by another woman. I had to change my number so he'd stop calling me late at night. It was sad, painful and I can't talk about it anymore.

No comments: